Is a shower gift separate from the wedding gift?
Yes. The shower gift and the wedding gift are two different things, and the shower gift is the smaller of the two. You bring a modest gift to the shower and save your main, more generous gift for the wedding itself.
How much should you spend?
Keep it modest - this is a warm-up to the wedding gift, not a replacement for it.
Typical to spend
$25-$75
A comfortable range for a friend. Close family and the wedding party often spend a little more.
Calculate your exact amount โRegistry or something personal?
The registry is your friend here. Shower gifts are traditionally the smaller, more personal household items - kitchen tools, linens, something for the couple's day-to-day. Picking a registry item at your budget guarantees it's wanted and avoids duplicates.
Bring the gift to the shower unwrapped-price and tag removed, but do keep a gift receipt inside in case of duplicates.
If you can't attend the shower
If you're invited to the shower but can't make it, a small gift is a kind gesture but not required - especially since you'll give a wedding gift anyway. Sending a registry item or a card is perfectly gracious.
Multiple showers
If you're invited to more than one shower for the same couple, you are not expected to bring a full gift to each. A gift at one and a card (or a very small token) at the others is completely acceptable - no one should be gifted into a corner.